Half Mary Sue
by Nimble Paws
Summary: My friend tries to make a Mary Sue story, and I stop her in every way I can by cuttingwriting into random places.


**READ IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY!**

_Comments_: This means this is our comments

Kelle: **Bold**

Lita: Regular

* * *

**A girl walked up to the gate of Kohana, her long smooth black hair flowing in the wind. She had beautiful sapphire flamed eyes with long lashes and**

A HUGE nose with pimples everywhere

* * *

_Comments:_

**Stop that Lita! She does NOT have a huge nose and pimples!**

Hey, we agreed that once we write something, we couldn't erase it.

**Fine.**

* * *

**She once had a huge nose but she recently got a plastic surgery and now her nose is dainty and perfect. And she used to have pimples but now that she's out of puberty, she has flawless rose-and-cream colored skin. She walked up to the guards standing at their usual places, and smiled**

Her awfully yellow and crooked teeth.

**Which they didn't care a single bit about, as they were charmed by her dashing smile. **

* * *

_Comments:_

Oh gag!

**Shut up Lita! I can write a Mary Sue if I want to! ANYWAYS

* * *

**

"**What can we do for you?" one of them asked her kindly. She continued smiling her dazzling smile and they both blushed.**

* * *

_Comments:_

You're pathetic…you do know that right?

**Shut up!**

* * *

"**I'm Neyasao," she greeted them, bowing low. They gasped. "Tsunade's daughter?"**

* * *

_Comments:_

Gasp! The hokage's long lost daughter! Is she Itachi's long lost sister as well?

**Stop being so sarcastic!**

I'm not!

**

* * *

**

They bowed to her as well and opened the gate to let her in. A yellow blur came speeding along at high speed and almost crashed into her, but she dodged it gracefully and quickly. "Sorry," the boy apologized, getting up and brushing himself off.

"**It's okay."**

* * *

_Comments:_

Let me guess, she smiles her "dazzling" smile and he falls in love. Isn't that sweet?

**I said, quit being so damn sarcastic! Just let me get on with it!**

* * *

"**You must be Uzumaki Naruto," she said warmly, holding out her hand. "I'm Ney-**

* * *

_Comments:_

Ho! Isn't that funny? You forgot her name and you were just about to scroll up and look when I wrote this.

**Give me a break! **

* * *

"**I'm Neyasao, Tsunade's daughter." **

**Naruto's jaw dropped. "Granny Tsunade has a daughter? I didn't know she was married."**

**Neyasao bowed her head sadly. "She's not married. My father is not of this world, he is **

The mighty Dragon that lives in Snow Country

* * *

_Comments:_

**Oh, very funny Lita. Very funny. See? I'm laughing.**

* * *

"**No! I'm kidding!" she said brightly, seeing the shocked look on Naruto's face.

* * *

**

_Comments:_

Wow, nice save.

* * *

**She got the sad look on her face again. "My father really is not of this world, he is**

A reincarnated fairy princess.

* * *

_Comments:_

**Would you stop that? Let me finish already my dear cousin of mine!**

It's your own fault for making that, "we can cut in anytime we want" rule.

**Arrgh! Whatever! Just stop it!**

* * *

"**I'm kidding again!" she laughed.**

Naruto nodded, and began backing away slowly…

* * *

_Comments:_

**NOT FUNNY LITA!**

Okay! Okay! Geez!

* * *

"**My father is a jounnin of another country. I grew up with him, and he taught me everything I know. When I finally surpassed him, I decided to pay my dear mother a visit…"**

**Naruto gave her a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry that you had to grow up separated." She smiled at him, making him feel all warm inside**

Because of disgust

**That you are my cousin**

"**I think Granny Tsunade is away somewhere," he informed her. "But we can spar until she comes back."**

**She smiled and nodded. "I would like that."**

**They got ready to fight, and**

Naruto kicked her ass!

**The first time. But then, she smiled again, and whispered, "No more practice, let's fight for real this time." Naruto was shocked because he had given it his all the first time, and she was considering that only as practice.

* * *

**

_Comments:_

You know how lame that sounds Kelle?

**I wouldn't have had to put that if you didn't put the "Naruto kicked her ass" part! **

That is exactly the sort of thing that will draw Mary Sue haters to us like bees and honey.

**Whatever Lita! This is my fic!**

Correction, this is our fic!

* * *

**It wasn't long before Neyasao overpowered him and beat him. Naruto lay on the earth in which he had fallen, stunned beyond words. She had gotten rid of his ultimate move like it was nothing. **

But he later found out it was because she had cheated!

**And he found out that he had been lied to, and she did not cheat in any shape or form. In the distance, they spotted Sasuke. Naruto called him over, and introduced him to Neyasao.**

And of course he fell in love with her as well…how convenient.

**He challenged her to spar, not believing them when they told him she had beaten Naruto. And**

Sasuke beat her up and found her weak. They decided that they didn't like her anymore and that she was a Tsunade-daughter imposter and kicked her out of Konoha never to see her again

THE END.

**Wow, that was some quick typing so I wouldn't interrupt.**

Yup. I just thought that I should put the story out of its misery.


End file.
